We are proud to announce the launch of our brand new product, The Original Stick Roaster!
These bad boys are curated from the finest wood (mostly fallen trees and brambles), collected by the burliest of lumberjacks. Once individually chopped by axe, the sticks are expertly sharpened by a team of beavers. Yes, real live beavers.
Utilizing an environmentally friendly, natural damming system, we have harnessed the power of 100 beavers to whittle our new Original Stick Roaster to perfect points. From there, we soak the sticks in the running water of bubbling brooks to infuse the spirit of the mountain into the wood fibers. After a thorough drying session by happy rays of sunshine, they are cured and hardened to ensure quality and longevity.
Determined to bring you an authentic roasting experience, each stick comes pre-roasted by local campers. Since each camper has a unique roasting capability, there will be slight variations and char marks that prove our new Original Stick Roasters are truly one-of-a-kind.
Why sharpen sticks when we can do it for you?
Full disclosure: since Original Stick Roasters are flammable wooden sticks, they may catch fire. They do not rotate and must be turned manually with two hands. They are not sturdy and may snap, which may result in the loss of stick, marshmallow, and/or hotdog. They do not telescope and you may singe arm hairs if you come in close contact with the campfire. We do not claim responsibility for any such incidences.
Sadly, the beavers went on strike, so we are currently out of stock.
Oh, and one more thing… April Fools!
Disclaimer 2: Don’t start a campfire on the porch of your house, it’s a fire hazard. This was clearly photoshopped.
Written by Becca Storm. Photos by Katelyn Holzer.