Campfire Cooking at Best
Mother nature doesn’t have the best selection of sticks in the forest. Camping forks and skewers you can plan ahead and bring sustainable camping forks! The true original, natural wood and stainless steel. Rolla Roasters.
Disclaimer for the following: We’re not really not really inventing the new stick, nature makes those, the natural kind from the woods, we want to save all the sticks. We want to inspire you to stop spending valuable cooking time searching for sticks at the campsite. It’s the modern era of glamping and campfire cooking. Camping forks and skewers are better than finding sticks in the woods for roasting marshmallows!
Now to the original post. This was originally posted on April Fools day as a spoof and an excuse to take ridiculous photos.
The Original Stick Roaster!
These bad boys are curated from the finest wood (mostly fallen trees and brambles), collected by the burliest of lumberjacks. Once individually chopped by axe, the sticks are expertly sharpened by a team of beavers. Yes, real live beavers. They know how to cook around the campfire too.
Utilizing an environmentally friendly, natural damming system, we have harnessed the power of 100 beavers to whittle our new Original Stick Roaster to perfect points. From there, we soak the sticks in the running water of bubbling brooks to infuse the spirit of the mountain into the wood fibers. After a thorough drying session by happy rays of sunshine, they are cured and hardened to ensure quality and longevity.
Authentic Roasting Experience
Determined to bring you an authentic roasting experience, each stick comes pre-roasted by local campers. Since each camper has a unique roasting capability, there will be slight variations and char marks that prove our new Original Stick Roasters are truly one-of-a-kind for all your campfire cooking.
Why sharpen sticks when we can do it for you?
- Full disclosure: since Original Stick Roasters are flammable wooden sticks, they may catch fire. They do not rotate and must be turned manually with two hands. They are not sturdy and may snap, which may result in the loss of stick, marshmallow, and/or hotdog. They do not telescope and you may singe arm hairs if you come in close contact with the campfire. We do not claim responsibility for any such incidences.
Sadly, the beavers went on strike, so we are currently out of stock.
Oh, and one more thing… April Fools!
Disclaimer 2: Don’t start a campfire on the porch of your house, it’s a fire hazard. This was clearly photoshopped. Written by Becca Storm. Photos by Katelyn Holzer.
Ever need more s’mores advice, check out these links.